In Alberta we have a saying, “if you don’t like the weather, just wait a minute.” I think that is how it goes… we came home from our trip happy to see the snow almost completely gone, flocks of geese resting on brown fields, we even watched a golden eagle taunt a couple of ravens high above our look-out. Now here we are, its April 5 and here we go again. Old Man Winter was kind for the most part but now he is overstaying his welcome.
The Family
My sister and I have memories of our mom talking about going to Disneyland when she was 18. This is interesting for 2 reasons; our recall of our childhood (although 18 months apart) is completely contrary to each others and in this instance we mutually recalled our Moms fondness for “It’s a Small World”. I wonder how many other siblings have completely conflicting memories of childhood – a childhood spent so closely together? Anyway, our Mom had always mentioned her 4-H road trip with happiness – she would especially light up when reminiscing about the Small World exhibit.
Years go by… we grew up (loosely speaking) and now have kids of our own and when parents become grandparents they take on a new identity and suddenly you wonder why they didn’t seem to like you as much as they obviously LOVE their grandchildren… hmm… I ramble – THERAPY! So it seems as soon as those lovely grand-babies arrived my Mom began talking about going back to Disneyland with her new-found joy(s). Unable to contain her excitement, my Mom entrusted my daughter with her secret scheme – she confessed as soon as she got home. The two of them had been discussing a trip to Disneyland – the time was near, it would be planned and executed and promises had been made to an 8-year-old who never forgets and can’t for the life of her keep a secret… so I called my mother,”Mom, whats this about Disneyland?” Mom, “What are you talking about?” Me, ”You know she can’t keep a secret, she hysterically came to me for a confessional about peeing in the pool. That happened 2 weeks ago at a birthday fun swim – like you really thought she could keep it from me?” My Mom giggled under her breath and then said, “Well if we are ever going to go we better plan it. I told her it was a secret!”
The planning begun! We were committed to make it happen and it finally did. Our entire family; my brother and his two children, my sister & brother-in-law and their two kids and of course my family, and finally my Dad (reluctant, irritated and environmentally mortified) all were onboard for a family trip of a lifetime and what a trip!
First Stop – A Small World
I will admit Disneyland was not a destination on our bucket lists. We love the beach and quiet low-key places. The Old Dog hates crowds and although I can stomach them, I prefer peace – I prefer quiet. Disneyland is crowded. Disneyland is not quiet. Disneyland is not a beach. My Mom was excited, the kids were hysterically excited (I think they arrived a week before we did). So we made a pact to make the best of it. Suck it up and deal with it, this was my Moms dream to take us and it was for the kids after all. So when we looked at each other on about the 4th day in the park and couldn’t believe just how much fun we were having and that we already had begun planning a return visit, well you get the picture… We had changed our tune – we actually LOVE Disneyland… Mr. Walt Disney you were a genius!
Disneyland is fun!
Disneyland is amazing!
Disneyland is just so happy!
Corbs & Stitch
Soren & Bulls-Eye (won at the ball toss at Paradise Pier)
Mary Poppins!
If you are ever to go to Disneyland this is what I learned:
Look who is enjoying himself… yep my Dad, getting into the groove of Disneyland fun!
The trip was a success, the weather fair and we came home to an April Fools snow storm. Thanks Mom and Dad for this opportunity of a life time!
In closing I will quote my son… a man of few words, “Mom, Disneyland was AWESOME!”
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It is a cliché I know, I try to avoid it but it the analogy is inevitable – I’m at the crossroads. I have some major decisions to make in the next couple of weeks, and of course I have been over thinking everything. So I am back to sleepless nights, aching joints, neck and back pain – the whole lot of anxiety ailments. So here’s the scoop. I recently (end of January) took a leave of absence from work. It was necessary. My body and spirits subtle plea could no longer be ignored. It was a good decision; the best decision, I immediately felt the weight lift, joy seeped back into my life, energy returned, sleep no longer eluded me. I began to like myself again or at the least start to believe in myself again.
Stress is a funny thing – funny in how we accept it as just a regular part of life; funny how we convince ourselves with success it is the trade-off. I made the decision to take a break. Handing in my request for a leave was difficult, not the decision itself, but the notion I was creating more work for those involved; a replacement needed to be found and students would be let down. It was these things which bothered me most. We all are busy, I hate being the pain in the ass. Am I oblivious to the ass pain I cause? I know who not to ask. Why am I worried about inconveniencing others?
So I took a break, hoping to regain a sense of purpose, get personal projects done, be present for my children, bake cookies, walk the dog, read, paint, blog, organize, exercise, and love more. I have managed to do almost all of the above. I can’t believe how busy I am and how I still can’t seem to manage to complete all tasks at hand. Really, what did we do with our time before we had kids? So back to fulfilling these “hopes” – I have a renewed purpose but I still question if it is enough – should I be doing more; am I wasting my education? Those damn inner scripts! My kids are in school – shouldn’t I be contributing to society in some fashion? I have definitely had a lot of “me” time. Could someone tell me exactly what to write in that request letter! It has to be sent soon – I have to commit.
